Saturday, May 30, 2009

Nervous Breakdown #4 million

Yesterday was hell on Earth for me. The morning went smoothly. We were supposed to go to the Mall of America with a friend but she couldn't make it. Instead of sitting inside and sulking I decided to take Jordyn over to the regular mall in the area. She did well. I was disappointed with everything they had but I did find a cute spring jacket for $12. We had lunch and then left with no major meltdowns. Jordyn of course fell asleep in the car on the way home, which is about a 15 minute car drive. When we got back she refused to nap. I tried multiple times but to no avail. I decided we could go on a walk instead but when I went inside to get the sunscreen she flipped out on the front porch causing a huge scene. Ok I'm gonna crawl back into my house now and not be seen for months thank you. We then laid down on my bed and fell asleep for about an hour and a half. When we woke up I decided we would go to dinner. We always go out on Friday nights and I was excited to get out and do something. STUPID STUPID STUPID. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and as soon as we sat down and I almost burst into tears knowing this was a huge mistake. My anxiety was through the roof. Jordyn was HORRIBLE. Beyond horrible. Everything we gave her to entertain herself ended up being launched across the restaurant. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Not only did she throw things but she screamed "No NO NO" over and over again. I just sat in my seat and stared at my plate. I held back tears the entire dinner. It's bad enough that I look young, have visible tattoos and a young kid cause I get enough dirty looks for that alone but to have her behave so badly was so awful. I looked and felt like the worst mother on the planet. Once the food came I shoveled mine down as fast as possible (which caused problems later) and took her out to car. I buckled her in and cried my eyes out. I don't know how I am supposed to handle a year of this bullshit but apparently I have to. I love my kid to death but this behavior makes my stomach turn. I see spankings in her near future. It's the only thing I know how to do to handle it and I'm not ashamed. If I ignored it and let her be "herself" I could see her turning out to be one major brat and I think we have enough of those in this world. Later that night I drank a bottle of wine and felt a lot better. Maybe I should start stock piling wine for the days, weeks and months to come.

4 comments:

Adi said...

Oh Kara. I've sooo had those days too. And you're totally right. You need to discipline her and let her know that that kind of behavior isn't ok because the first time you let it go will be the first of many many tantrums to come.

I'm sorry she was such a devil. i hate those days so much. Feel better mama!

Chelsea said...

are you in my head? grace did the same thing, at the dia no less, and people were staring at me. i was ready to swat her on the butt and i've been torn about it the last few days and totally frustrated. she threw a tantrum when she woke up yesterday. it started with a whine, in bed, and then escalated, while i sat there confused and trying to wake up, until she literally threw herself onto the floor from the bed in this dramatic fit and then she calmed for a second and mumbled something about wanting to sit on the couch. oh my god. demon child. :( i feel your pain.

Natalie said...

I distinctly remember putting $75 worth of food into take-out boxes and running to the car in one of those situations. It's horrible and I'm so sorry! It really does get better as they get older.

Kara said...

I'm glad I'm no alone but I feel bad for everyone else too! LOL! I know it's the age but I thought this didn't start till 2. It sucks cause she is such a pistol and she has my temper big time! I just wish she would give mommy a break!