Thursday, April 22, 2010

How's it Hanging?

I've been missing in action once again. I'm sorry (I'll apologize to my 5 or so readers) I'm boring lately and have nothing that new to write. I'm now 12 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. I'm doing the best I can do. I'm stressed, my 2.5 year old is driving me insane, I have high blood pressure & I seem to be tittering on the high risk balance beam. Blah! I'm really sick of living SOOOO far away from family and friends. It never affected me like this in Minnesota, probably because the option of driving 12 hours to get back to Michigan was always an option. Now I am over a thousand miles away from anyone I can call on to help me or to hang out with. I feel really helpless a lot of the time. What if something went wrong? What am I supposed to do? I already have to throw out my dream of a VBAC because I can't wait to go into labor cause I have no one here to watch my daughter. I have to plan another c-section and have someone fly out for a week or so to help me. I guess I'm OK with it now but it really sucks that I can't even try to have a normal labor. God forbid anything bad happen like I need to be hospitalized because I guess I'll be taking care of my daughter in the hospital then. I never realized how hard this would be.

I don't even feel pregnant. It really hasn't even hit me yet although I've been to the doctor 4 times and have had 3 ultrasounds. I haven't gained weight (which is awesome), I don't have much of a bump (just fat) & all my symptoms have faded since stopping progesterone. I'm tired a lot, cranky & hormonal but that's it. I better not waking up puking tomorrow! I really hope the rest of this pregnancy goes smoothly and nothing happens with my blood pressure. Pre-eclampsia is not fun and I never want to go there again. Here's a new picture of the little one & one of Jordyn!


Adi said...

if you want, I can fly out there for a few weeks around your due date so you can try for a vbac. I'm not doing anything. I'd love to meet you and i SO know how bad it sucks to not have someone around to watch your first born while you're out having your second kid. FB message me :)

Kandace said...

You know I AM only 30 minutes away. Jordyn had a blast when we babysat, we can watch her again if need be. I told you that you goose.