Friday, June 12, 2009

Just stop & think

I think everyone takes life for granted from time to time. Sometimes it just catches up with you and you feel so overwhelmed with guilt for treating day to day life as a chore instead of the wonderful blessing it is. I'm not gonna get all preachy/spiritual on your ass but for me this is my wake up call. Whenever I start to feel lost and like life is just bearing down on me, I'm going to come back and read this post over and over to give myself a slap in the face for what is truly important.

I'm a big follower of MckMama and her family. I was reading her blog today where she linked another blogger named Matt Logelin. I started looking over his site about his beautiful little girl named Madeline. At first I thought it was just another interesting blog about babies/mamas/daddies/life (which I enjoy reading to no end) but after glancing around at his site I realized how much more deep it was then I could have imagined. The main story behind the site was so heart wrenching that I think I sat at my computer for an hour just bawling my eyes out and hyperventilating. Warning: if you are an over-emotional preggo you might not want to read any further or Matt's site cause I wouldn't want to be responsible for hours of preggo crying cause I know once it starts it's hard to stop.

Anyway back to the story at hand. Matt is an amazing father who's wife was taken from this world much too soon, actually only one day after their daughter was born. I don't know the full circumstances cause I can't continue to read without having my eyes completely swell shut. Reading about his struggles, triumphs and just every day life makes me really just appreciate all I have around me. I might complain and majority of the time it's stupid, petty shit but I'm trying to make a change in my life. I have always been the morbid type that constantly thinks of death to the point where I could just burst out in tears and you wouldn't have a clue why. My brain is going a hundred miles a minute and I probably think of death (either me, Jordyn or Paul dying along with family) 5 hours added up in each day. I need to stop being so worried and live life for each day that I have cause you truly never know what is going to happen next.

I'm not going to end this with some cheesy quote, but as my daughter looks up at me with a confused/concerned look on her face and hands me her one favorite thing in this whole world to comfort me, her monkey, I realize this is what my life is really about. Being loved and loving others. Sorry that was kind of corny but that's my life :)


Natalie said...

I'm at work and made the mistake of thinking "I'll just take a quick look" and now I'm sitting at my desk crying. Something about the straight forward way he writes is gut retching. I'll be giving my babies an extra hug when I pick them up. I don't know what I would do without them and don't want to think about what they would do without me. Thanks for the reminder.

Adi said...

awww.. that totally made me tear up and i'm going to stay away from his blog for a bit because I've been emotional lately. Babies are the best thing for reminding you what life is really about.

Kara said...

Stay away from his blog Adi! Seriously! I cried all day when I read it. His blog is super inspiring but the circumstances are just heartbreaking. Sorry you read it at work Natalie! I should have warned against that too!