Saturday, March 14, 2009

Half Acre

"I am holding half an acre
torn from the map of Michigan
and folded in this scrap of paper
is a land I grew in

Think of every town you've lived in
every room you lay your head
and what is it that you remember?

Do you carry every sadness with you
every hour your heart was broken
every night the fear and darkness
lay down with you

A man is walking on the highway
A woman stares out at the sea
and light is only now just breaking

So we carry every sadness with us
every hour our hearts were broken
every night the fear and darkness
lay down with us

But I am holding half an acre
torn from the map of Michigan
I am carrying this scrap of paper
that can crack the darkest sky wide open
every burden taken from me
every night my heart unfolding
my home" - Hem

This song is amazing. I fell in love with it years ago when I heard it on a commercial as the background music. My sister had it on her myspace when she lived in Alabama. It speaks to me and especially since I'm moving from Michigan, my home, to some place new. I hope I like it but I know there will be times I just can't take feeling so alone. I'm not super dependent on my family but then again my family is my friends. I have no friends in real life. Most days I'm ok with that because there is such lack of effort on both sides. Other days I'm annoyed with the fact that you have a kid and no one even seems to give a shit about you anymore. I went out with a fellow mommy/friend from high school. We hadn't seen each other for four years but automatically we had such a good connection because we are moms. We are very different but so similar. It was really refreshing knowing I'm not crazy and she feels the same way. I've never been the type of person to be torn up over friendships or the lack there of. So must of the time I say fuck em. I know they are doing their own thing and so am I. But once I'm gone, I'm gone and if you think you didn't hear from me before this move will make me nonexistent.

We went to the park today. Well not really a park but a nature trail in Ann Arbor but the Huron River. Jordyn was so excited. She was playing and running and picking up sticks. She was running down the trail and tripped. She ate the cement a little. She has a scratch above her lip and on her little nose. First boo boo. Poor tiny. After that we went to a place called Wave Field on the UofM campus. It's this field with man made rolling hills but they are close together. I'll post a picture later because stupid blogspot won't let me now. Then we got an ice cream and went home. I went to Target to have some alone time. I was supposed to buy myself something cause I never do but I ended up buying soap, shampoo for me & paul, razors, floss, new toothbrushes, cereal, cheese and moving totes. Wooopie!


Adi said...

I don't have any friends IRL either... Don't feel bad. Too bad you're not moving to Kentucky! We could be pals together!

And I always seem to buy M something at the store and skip over myself.. It must be a mommy thing

Kara said...

Aww I wish! Then we could go shopping together and force each other to buy things for ourselves. What part of Kentucky are you moving to? It's beautiful there!