Goodbye, my hopeless dream

A month and half till we leave! Thank god. Michigan is so depressing. After watching the news the other night and then reading today that Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in the U.S. I can't wait to get out of here. I just wish I could bring my family with me. I feel like I'm leaving them behind in this shit hole. I'm just excited for the unknown. I've never lived outside of Michigan. I've lived on my own for 5 years now so I know that will be easy but I've always had someone to call if I got lonely like my sister or mom to hang out with. The first week living in Minnesota Paul has to go on a business trip to Texas. That's gonna be a shitty week. A new, unfamiliar house. Just me and the Jay bird. Yikes.

I'm so paranoid. I can't stop my brain from over thinking. I always think every one is gonna die. It's a horrible quality that I wish I didn't have but I have thought this way since I was a young child. We are going to MN to look at houses next Friday-Sunday and my brain is already telling me I'm gonna die. It's horrible. As each day gets closer I am gonna get more and more crazy. UGH! Stop. I wish I could just be normal. I don't want to leave Jordyn. I've only spent one night away from her in 18 months. Well pray for me or think good thoughts for me. I'd appreciate it.