Monday, February 23, 2009

What is my body worth?

"Follow, please follow me home. This won't end like last time."

I'm finally feeling creative again. I was definitely in a slump. I used to be very creative but I never seem to have time for tangible art. Photo shop is my creative outlet which is fine for now. I found the quote in the siggy above very interesting. It says...

"For most of us dreams come true only after they do not matter. Only in childhood do we ever
have the chance of making dreams come true when they mean everything."

Seems so true. It's sad because deep down I don't want to admit that our adult dreams are worth nothing. I still have dreams but it's a lot harder for me to see them coming true. Maybe they will. I guess that's up to me.

Do you ever feel like an album can some up your life and how you feel on a daily basis? I think if I had to pick one it would be Saosin's title album. It's so amazing. I think I could listen to it constantly. And yes I still use my Halloween mug all the time. So what if it's February.

"I'm always late with my words. I should have told you but I never really cared." I'm apathetic. I don't have the normal feelings that most people do. If you hate me that's fine. I don't care. If you have good reason to... kudos. I find that now that I am a mother I care more about how I am perceived. It's pretty sad. I should just go about my business and not give a shit what that preppy mom in the next isle over in her polo shirt is thinking of the young kid who holding a baby. She's probably the babysitter, I'm sure that's what they think. Should I care? No but I do. Lame. Before I gave birth to Jordyn I took out all my piercings but my tongue. I felt so stupid for doing it after because I cared so much what all those nurses and doctors were going to think of me. Mothers don't have piercings, mothers don't have tattoos. Mothers wear Polo's and khakis. Puke. Once our tax return comes I'm going to get my sleeve done. I'm not heisting or even thinking about how others will perceive me. They can screw themselves.

What's that? A baby fetus. I got this from my sister a couple months ago. She got it from her mother in law. It was a present for her and her kids, well 5 of them actually. Now it sits above my computer watching me. I bet it scares people who come over. My first thought when I got it was "I could order a bunch of these for a Halloween party and put them in shot glasses as test tube babies." Yes I'm morbid and yes everything revolves around Halloween.


Chelsea said...

i think there's a book called "my mom wears combat boots" and i want to read it. i've literally been mistaken for the baby sitter, especially because i'm so small. and, grace has reddish blondish brown hair and blue eyes, where as i'm brown for both. i really want to get something pierced, my septum maybe, and i can't wait to get more tattoos...though that will be a while because i've got a crappy car and credit card debt to take care of. anyway...other moms freak me out. i've tried moms groups and i always hate them.

and that baby thing looks like what they handed out in the jesus camp movie to the kids and told them to pray to end abortion. CREEPY.

Adi said...

Wow that was a really random post! :)

Kara said...

Haha this was really random. My thoughts are always random and scattered. I've heard of that book Chelsea. I need to go to the library or *gasp* maybe the book store. I've never tried a moms group. Everyone at Urban Toddler begs for me to join a class or come in and play but I feel out of place unless their children are there which is never. The little fetus was ordered from a Catholic website. She's a bit of a nutjob. They were Halloween gifts but to order them you had to order 200! I wonder if she handed them out to kids instead of candy.