Thursday, June 4, 2009

3 things you need to know about Minnesota!

I have decided that Minnesota is the land of three things...
1. Lakes
2. Slow/Stupid drivers
3. Middle aged women who try to look & dress young (Desperate Housewives style)

Let's examine the three shall we?
Minnesota has over 10,000 lakes. Seriously you can't drive anywhere without seeing one whether it be big or small. This makes Minnesota one of the most beautiful states I've ever been to. Nature is big here and it's refreshing to know people do still care about the environment. With lakes comes great parks, outdoor activities and fun. This is my number one like about Minnesota.

Now let's move on to the more negative things that plague Minnesota. Slow and/or stupid drivers. Yes I get it, it's not 70 miles an hour like it is in Michigan but for god's sake you CAN drive the speed limit. I was driving Paul to work yesterday on a 65 mile an hour freeway. I was going exactly 65 and passing everyone! Young, old, stupid it doesn't matter, they were all going about 55. Then as I was coming home from IKEA on the major freeway I was driving about 70 in a 65. Not too shabby. I pull into the left lane to pass a huge semi and low and behold there is a moron going about 50. I slam on my brakes and wait for this retard to drive faster. Not happening, the semi is passing him! Finally I get around him and take a look to see if he is 90 years old.... Nope probably about 21. HELLO? Apparently no one is ever in a rush, actually it wouldn't be considered a rush to just drive the speed limit, in this state.

And lastly middle aged women being "young". Ok your past your prime, you need a boost and that's fine and dandy but mini skirts and halter tops are the mistakes of 15 year olds not 45 year olds! Come on now! While driving to pick Paul up from work I see a 40 something woman tanned to sun cancer perfection, wearing a black pleated mini skirt and a bright blue polo halter top. She looked like she was ready for some tennis but guess what was missing? The tennis racket! She was strutting her shit along the main road in heels. This is definitely not the first woman I have seen like this. It's nice to feel young but that doesn't mean dress like a whore, tan till your skin falls off and then pack on the makeup. Yikes! If I am ever that desperate for attention just put me in a home. They do have homes for middle aged whores right?

1 comment:

Nathan Pralle said...

And just wait until you meet swarms of the famous State Bird -- the Mosquito. Good luck with that.