Monday, April 13, 2009

I don't know how long I can hold my heart in two.

It's Monday.... Monday BLOWS. Fuck you Monday.

Jordyn is going through some phase where she acts completely insane. And being a mother I am supposed to grin & bare it. Fuck. I don't think I can grin anymore. She was on my very last shred of nerve today. I held back my frustration so much that I think I might have burst a blood vessel in my eye. I can't see it but my eye socket kills. I also punched the desk which scared the crap out of her (which I felt horrible about after the fact) but I had to get it out somehow. I've had anger problems since in the womb (no joke I actually almost died due to stress). They don't just go away. And if I could get medical help for my problems I totally would but *sigh* I have no medical insurance like so many other Americans. God bless this country and it's morals.

Easter was fun. Exhausting but fun. Jordyn had no nap and did rather well. She is good in crowded situations especially with lots of love around her. My tattoo is itching me to death. Can't itch it though. It's healing very well too. I can't wait to get the color. The next couple weeks might break me. So very busy. This week I'm going to Chicago to see my friend Emily & her daughter Eleanor. Next week my sister might have her son if his lungs are developed. I need to drive 4 hours to get the color portion of my tattoo. Paul has finals and can't help me with anything. Need to finish party planning. Need to go buy a new car. Then we have two weeks of packing & tying up loose ends. It seems like time is standing still sometimes.

If only it were this easy.

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